obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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