Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
