Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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