While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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