If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
