he wants to bone in the snuggie
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
