Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
