I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
