he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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