I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize