Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You pole danced in your parka.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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