I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
