There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Acid is not a monday night drug
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
