Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
