I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
