yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
