my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
