I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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