Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
