I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
