With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
