I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
