Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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