Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
