Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
