I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
