im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
