Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
