i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
