Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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