I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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