On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
