sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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