his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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