that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
