idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
