thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
