On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
