if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
