i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
