ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize