i barfeds in our rink
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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