My brain says no but my pants say off.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize