Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
