Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
