Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
