I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
