I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
