Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
