A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dear god my vagina.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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