who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
