so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
