doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
