My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize