I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize