I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
