i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
