they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize