He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
