i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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