Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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