I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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