i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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