we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
