Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
