I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
