He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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